Hi Druben! I use crochet as an outlet. I take all the knots in my body from the pain and put them into the yarn and sometimes wonderous things happen. I've also become a pretty good hoop dancer and use fire to cleanse my energy. Although I do make hoops when I am tense, I cannot be in pain when I make them, I'm afraid that I might bind that negative aspect into the hoop and pass the energy onto it's user.

No
No artwork anymore, I used to love it
Now I dance

Druben,
Originally I learned the stitchery that I do as pain management. I still use it for that. I also do Tatting to rid myself of pain. I will load images of both here.

Tatt.

Setting: A sunny bedroom. I'm laying on my back with a pillow under my legs. A laptop is propped up on a cushion that lay across my lap. Pain is sitting at the foot of my bed. Pain is a small troll-like man wearing dark glasses and a jester's hat. He watches me and occasionally honks a shiny brass horn, startling me.


ME: Pain, fuck you. I hate you. I had an identity outside of you before you came and screwed up my life.
PAIN: Oh, c'mon, how about all that interpersonal growth you've gained? Wouldn't have that without me.
ME: You may have a point, but I'm forgetting who I was, or, not appreciating whom I'm becoming with you.
PAIN: I bring you gifts, sympathy from others, an attractive physical therapist, not to mention time off from work, and this is how you relate to me?
ME: I don't want any of that-- well, sometimes...sometimes I want some of it. Sometimes I want some of it and I hate that about me. Please don't get me wrong, I do respect you, I just also hate your fucking guts. ;-)
PAIN: Your smiling suggests a light tone of sarcasm.
ME: Actually it was a grimace. My sciatic nerve was reminding me that its neighborhood is getting overcrowded. There has been a property-line dispute between it and his neighbor, a lumbar-sacral disc.

PAIN: Here, take one of these...
ME: OK. >gulp<. Ahhh....
DOPAMINE: >squirt, squirt<
ME: That's much better.
PAIN: See? I can make it all better.
ME: Actually, I can still feel it, I just don't care quite as much. I don't really mind anything right now, actually. I still can walk very well though...
PAIN: Walking is overrated.
ME: Yes, I can see all that now. It looks more manageable now. Pain, thank you. I love you. Without you I might not ever feel this good.
DOPAMINE: >squirt, squirt<

PAIN smiles at me and gently pats me on the right foot until it is numb. I fall asleep.

I wake up, PAIN is still there. PAIN honks the shiny brass horn, startling me again.


ME: PAIN, fuck you. I hate you. I had an identity outside of you before you came and screwed up my life.
PAIN: >Laughing softly to himself<

Went to the rehearsal studio today. We played for over 4 hours! It was great! We only get together about 1x/month, so we make the most of it. We all played well. Achey as all get out right now, but nothing worse than the past 12-18 months or so.
We have a myspace. Once I get some music uploaded to it, I'll let you know.

D~

I'll go weeks at a time where I feel like crud all day, every day. (I think it's PD and Fibromyalgia.) Then I'll get lucky with some serious R n R (no stress ful situations, either!) and I'll start to feel almost human again. I had been feeling well for about a week or so, when I got real busy for the a while and sent myself into another episode. Saturday sucked. We had a rehearsal yesterday, and despite the pain and crud, I made it through the session. Feel like shit today. Physically, anyhow, but playing in a band and making music is just total bliss!

My only true gift in any type of art is in cooking and baking, so it would be rather difficult to post it online. I do try to make my scrumptious creations whenever possible, but there are sadly times when it is so much easier to order a pizza or open a can. Typically, I try to make a few big meals on my good days, then freeze leftovers to reheat when I am not in the greatest physical shape.

I've also wished to play music or engage in some other traditional art. I have long dreamed of writing novels and make many attempts, but I am often distracted and my notes get put aside and by the time I return, the inspiration is gone.

But I truly do see cooking and baking as an art form. Anyone can throw together a meal, but when one creates something edible with love and passion and expertise, it is an entirely different world.

For me, it is also a great form of distraction from stress and pain. Just imagine kneading dough to get rid of any anger. And, no offense to anyone, but I feel those automatic breadmakers are simply an affront to the art. As I said before, anyone can throw the ingredients together and push a button. It takes something else to go through the process by hand, mixing the dough, allowing it to rise, kneading it, shaping it into interesting forms, adding special spices or whatever, then patiently waiting through the long baking process, usually interspersed with frequent egg washes to get a nice, crispy crust with a fluffy inside. Mmmmmm, know I'm hungry for fresh baked bread. Maybe that will be my project for today.