help!

topic posted Fri, June 6, 2008 - 12:32 AM by 
The intesity is growing such that I find if difficult to chose to remain in physicality - it is so tiresome. I long to escape my body and the torture of chronic pain and the feeling that satisfaction will never *actually* occur.

How do I approach this topic with my new pain doctor tomorrow without raising any alarms? I have no intention of injuring myself. This is the most fascinating time of my life so far, and I understand that my purpose and mission for this lifetime is not yet complete. But he needs to understand the nature of my daily reality so that we can get it under control.

I've got it.

I'll simply print this and give it to him tomorrow.

LOVE TO ALL
dave
posted by:
  • Re: help!

    Fri, June 6, 2008 - 9:30 AM
    Keep a daily diary. Document all of your aches and pains, as well as the good days. I have an on line diary that only I can access, but I can acess it from the doc's office, or even grant them access if they're that interested. (Mostly not, but keep documenting anyhow.)
  • Re: help!

    Fri, June 6, 2008 - 12:43 PM
    I made that mistake once - I didn't realize it until a nurse came into the room speaking very softly & started petting my hair. At first I thought she was either hitting on me or she thought I was retarded. Then she started asking me if I had a plan. Derrr. Maybe my second guess wasn't so far off.

    However, I think a pain doc might get what you're talking about, so long as you're very clear about your intentions. Good luck, man.


    (((Dave)))
    • Re: help!

      Fri, June 6, 2008 - 3:25 PM
      Oh my! Molly, that's kinda funny because in nursing school we learned if someone verbalizes suicidal thoughts, the first thing you do is ask if they have a plan. Please, don't think I'm laughing at you. It's just interesting because I've been on both sides of this. I also have a really bizarre sense of humor, so please understand.

      Dave, let us know how it goes with the new doc. I tried a guy in pain management once and he was just an idiot. He treated me like a drug-seeker. Well, that I'm getting used to. Most people I've dealt with in medical situations just assume that I am either trying to get drugs or too lazy to work and want disability. No one has ever worried that I was suicidal, even when I was coming close. One doctor had me on antidepressants and I had that reverse reaction where I started thinking that if I just died, I wouldn't have to deal with all this pain. I never felt like I would actively do something about it, just that I would welcome it if it came to me. It was scary and I'm glad it stopped when I stopped taking the Zoloft.

      Luckily, I have finally found a doctor and staff who believe me. They are so supportive and kind that I found myself crying with relief after all these years. I'm tring a new med and it actually seems to be helping. I still have pain, but nothing like the past.
      • Re: help!

        Fri, June 6, 2008 - 5:27 PM
        Well Heather I hit the jackpot. This was my second visit with him. Today I got trigger point injections in soe chronic spams.

        This doc is in Irvine, born and raised, looks Indian/Pakistani, schooled on the east coast, and returned to set up this place. His staff consists of a nurse/med tech ( the funniest lovliest queeny gay guy), a chiro, several massage therpists, a registered PT or two. Everything is on a PC network. It is the coolest thing. He is younger than I am. You go in the room and there is a flat monitor on the wall and they pop you up with your photo and everything, medical records - what a trip. Let's hope he has good security, eh? LOL! Anyway, he listens to me intently, he's very evel-keeled, and he has no problem prescribing opiates if that is what is needed along with all the other therapies to get my pain level down. There is even an OXYCONTIN poster on the wall. OMG. I am blown away.

        During my second massage, she really dug at me hard. I found emotions flying out of places where I have been storing them, and it surprised me actually. I thought I had processed it all. Next stop - counselor (I told him he needs one in the practice).

        LOVE TO ALL
        dave
        • Re: help!

          Fri, June 6, 2008 - 5:41 PM
          I should mention that he has me on meds that are WAY less effective than something like Oxy. We'll have to work up to that. But the idea that he is willing to work with me until we find what helps is AMAZING to me. So many docs are clueless.

          Also, I put it to him just like in my original post - how do we discuss without you beomcing alrmed - I don't have any intention of hurting myself, but I LOOONG to be out of my body. Last time I felt comfortable was in the hospital in 2004 with an IV morphine pump and I thought, "WOW that must be what it feels like to be normal." OMG.
          • Re: help!

            Sat, June 7, 2008 - 6:43 AM
            I'm so happy for you, Dave. I swear sometimes the challenge of finding an understanding doctor is almost worse than dealing with the pain. And it's probably good that he's working up through the meds. I'd be a little worried if you walked in and he automatically gave you the heavy duty stuff.

            I wish I knew someone around here that did trigger point injections. I've often wondered if that would help. I even read some research on botox injections to end severe muscle spasms. I had one doc that gave me injections of saline with a little lidocaine in the back of my neck. Most doctors assume pain in that spot means migraine, but he knew what he was doing. He also did stretch and spray, which was really helpful. But he refused to give any kind of pain meds. Not that I asked or anything. Heck, I don't even like opiates because I have a weird reaction to them. Even in the hospital, I refused morphine and said I was allergic because codeine makes me feel so awful - sweaty, shaky, paranoid, weird.

            Massage is also really helpful for me. I used to have a wonderful MT who did really deep work on my trigger points. She joked with me about how I grimace and reminding me to breathe. It is really painful, but that's what I need to force those knots to release. Then after the session, I get that weird floaty feeling. The MT explained it's because the massage gets your muscles to release all the toxins that were stuck while it was in spasm. She always made me sit down and drink a glass of water before she'd let me get up to walk around. Too bad she moved away. I haven't found anyone who comes close to her skill and I refuse to pay $80 hr for a nice rub down. I need serious work, ya know?
            • Re: help!

              Sat, June 7, 2008 - 11:02 AM
              You know - I had a headache at the left base of my neck once and allowed a trainee acupuncture student to work on it. One straight into the knot at the base of my neck, and one along the arm somewhere and one between my thumb and palm. I was OK till he started spinning the needles, but I hung in there and I have not had that headache since.

              The new pain doc was talking to someone else about Botox for spasm, and that intrigued me.
              • Re: help!

                Sat, June 7, 2008 - 11:43 AM
                Well, it makes sense if you think about it. Botox is actually a form of poisonous bacteria, related to botulism, which is usually an illness from spoiled food. Botox is used in the face to sort of kill the muscles that tighten and produce wrinkles. So, if you inject it into the muscle it should stop the spasm and prevent constriction. It's kinda scary though.
                • Re: help!

                  Thu, June 12, 2008 - 4:11 PM
                  good to hear any bits of good news from you dave. are you still doing alright?
                  zanne
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: help!

                    Thu, June 12, 2008 - 5:20 PM
                    Yes. The trigger point injections into the spasming muscles were awesome. I get massages and stretched twice a week, and I have enugh pain meds that I can be comfortable and still have some left over. IT ROCKS.
            • Re: help!

              Fri, June 13, 2008 - 4:46 PM
              Wouldn't it be terrific if medical plans as a standard practice covered acupuncture, massage therapy, chiropractic, and other alternative medical approaches (heck, therapeutic heated pool exercises). The irony is that I suspect some of these alternatives would be more cost effective if used rather than ignored (having to resort to more and more expensive drugs ??)

              • Re: help!

                Fri, June 13, 2008 - 5:09 PM
                I'm with you Gretchen! Ironically, I just started a new job and there is a woman who said she previously worked for a chiropractor and she did the billing for the adjustments, as well as the massage therapy. But that was a very long time ago.

                I definitely think these treatments would be more cost-effective, and also help avoid the issues of people becoming addicted to narcotic pain meds and also provide some relief to the patients when so many doctors are too afraid to prescribe painkillers.
                • Re: help!

                  Fri, June 13, 2008 - 11:45 PM
                  I'm totally flipped out. Fine a young doctor who specializes in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. Apparently, things have changed in med school. And clearly, Columbia's program obviously rocks. This guy is AWESOME. I have never had a doctor sit with me for almost an hour altogether and listen to me like this. OMG. First time in I got a Toradol shot in the ass to try to loosen the spasms. Two weeks later, he saw that this was not effective, and did the trigger point muscle injections (lidocaine and steroids). AWESOME. And twice a week I get the "electricity" treatment and massaged and stretched. OMG.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: help!

                    Fri, June 13, 2008 - 11:45 PM
                    oops FIND a young doctor
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: help!

                    Sat, June 14, 2008 - 6:57 AM
                    Yep, I've had toradol a few times and never much relief from it. I think it's funny because they always ask a thousand times if there is any chance you might be pregnant before they'll give it. One time, I made a joke about living in a town called Bethlehem, and the nurse gave me a totally blank look. Bethlehem? Jesus? Virgin Mary and Immaculate Conception? Anyone? Anyone?

                    The "electricity" treatment, do you mean a TENS unit? It's just a mild buzz that's supposed to help muscles heal. I love that. I wish I could have my own. Actually, I did at one point. My mother bought it from QVC or whatever. They were selling it as a way to erase wrinkles on your face. But, I realized it was basically the same thing I was getting in physical therapy and "borrowed" it from her. Sadly, I have no idea where it ever got to.

                    I definitely believe if I had easier access with low cost or insurance coverage, to freely get massage and trigger points and TENS and stretch treatments, I could avoid the worst of the pain and have way fewer absences from work. That sounds to me like cost-effectiveness there.

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